Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He kissed a someone with a penis
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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