Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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