No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
