You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
