Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
