my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
