You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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