Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
