Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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