Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
