I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Randomize
