Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize