shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
