just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
