Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
