at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
