too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
