lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
that's an acceptable place to lick
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
