i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
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