I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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