you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
