We're facebook friends in real life
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
