it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So many bounce houses so little time
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize