ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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