Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
