about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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