Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
