it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize