i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
