Define "chronic" masturbator.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Acid is not a monday night drug
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
