I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
