Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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