Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
