I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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