You made me cry and you don't even care
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
