You're completely useless in the revolution.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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