we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
