i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
its not stalking. its research.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
