woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
