He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
