that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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