that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
