Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
