DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
