I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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