Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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