i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
