She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
