Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
