Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
