Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize