haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
