i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
