Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
