That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
