I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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