North Korea, Best Korea!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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