I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
