Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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