So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
