So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
