On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
is it fun? or sober?
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