I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
