The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
