ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
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